love, sex & relationship – a workshop with Vivian Broughton
6-7 October 2018
2-3 November 2019
at The Centre for Healthy Autonomy, Brentford, London. Register here.
~ Love… what is it, and what is ‘healthy’ love? Am I capable of loving? How do we know we can love? Can we receive love? What is ‘falling in love? How can we understand this primary and primal emotion? It infuses our lives and our experiences as much as food and sleep… it is a basic need, and yet for many of us it is also extremely troublesome. We may ‘love’ inappropriately, be constantly attracted to people who we know are not good for us, continually get ourselves into sticky ‘loving’ situations, and… also… know that in some way we are constantly looking for a love that we didn’t get at the beginning of our lives.
~ And sex… what is that, and, again, what is ‘healthy’ sex? Of course we know that sex is about procreation, having babies, perpetuating the species, but our lives seem to be dominated by sex and our sexuality and, for some, our gender. We seem to be a society obsessed with sex and sexuality: getting sex, managing our sexual desires, suffering because of sex… feeling inadequate and finding that often our sexual encounters are not satisfying but confusing. Do I define myself as hetero, gay, bi, trans? What do these ‘categories’ mean to me? Most of our advertising uses sex to sell us things… Sex as a commodity. How do we feel about that? And… what is the relationship between love and sex?… Are we naturally monogomous, ie willing to commit to only having sex with one partner for the rest of our lives? And many more questions arise.
~ And then the subject of Relationship… are my relationships healthy or painful, loving or torturing, satisfying or a constant source of confusion, despair and hopelessness.
~ These are big topics, and our ability to function well in relation to these issues in my view goes right back to the issue of traumatisation, and our experiences of our first relationship… that with our mother and then our father. It is from this earliest time in our life that we gain a sense of our identity, and the identity that is possible from this time then defines our relationship with these issues. Our biography is a biography of the influence of trauma.
~ This workshop is intended to open up these topics. Perhaps we can find some useful clarity about these issues. We will work with the Constellation of the Intention Method as a means of personal exploration of some of these issues, and there will be time for discussion and sharing.
~ As a group there will be opportunities to do a personal exploration and to participate in the exploration of others, and to join in the discussion and learning. ‘Working places’ will be decided by ballot over the weekend.
Please be aware that these workshops may involve emotional experiences as the underlying topic is the exploration of personal trauma.
If you are new to this work you might like to read some of the posts on my blog, a good starting book is Becoming Your True Self which I wrote for my clients.
You can find out more information about me here.