In this workshop we will work with participants' personal enquiries, and I will also spend some time focusing on facilitation of the IoPT Individual One-t0-One session.

Most 'starting out' IoPT practitioners begin facilitating individual sessions rather than working in the group setting. There are several reasons for this: it is easier to organise individual sessions; it is seemingly easier to do, and perhaps less intimidating for the new IoPT practitioner. This last is not necessarily the case. There are some major differences between facilitating in groups and in the individual session, and working individually is not necessarily easier. Hopefully I can help any practitioners working individually with any difficulties you may have.

This event is also an open invitation to anyone interested in knowing more about IoPT, and perhaps putting a toe into the water! Most of the event will be spent working with personal intentions and issues brought by participants.

This workshop is being organised by Rens Meijkamp through Art of Being Yourself. For more information and to register for this workshop click here. 

What is the 'patriarchy'?

Why is it that a certain section of humanity feels a need to control, dominate, exploit, harass, hurt, rape and even murder the other? [1] 

My answer is this: These acts are acts of hate and revenge, and we tend to hate what we fear, what terrifies us, and deep down in my view, many men are terrified of women.

Remember: all men who uphold patriarchal domination are born of women. We could even say that it is women, traumatised mothers, who not only contribute to the continuance of this patriarchal domination, but who are actually the cause of it.

Why is this?

Because all men are incubated and born of women, and if the women are traumatised, they are likely to traumatise their children.

Imagine for a moment, the life of a newly created boy child, who is for many years extremely vulnerable in the charge of a human being, a woman, who may have had troublesome and even horrifying experiences at the hands of men.

If the mother has been traumatised by men in her life, how does she approach the issue of having a son? For example, does she, in her traumatised psyche, see her son as another perpetrator who will frighten and hurt her? Or does she see him as her saviour, her defender, her hero? Does she see her child as an opportunity for her to take revenge? After all he cannot fight back, he is far too small and vulnerable. Does she unleash her own hatred and fury and desire for revenge on the child? Or does she groom him to stay close to her, to not be dangerous to her and to defend her against mankind? How does she, with all the power over him that she has, wield that power? Perhaps for the first time in her life she is in a situation of power in relation to a male… how does that influence her ability to be a mother to this boy child?

The adult version of this boy child is extraordinarily influenced by this initial relationship where the woman, the mother, holds all the power for probably nearly 16-18 years of the most developmental phase of his life. For this length of time this boy child has to live as best he can within the confines of this relationship in which he has, certainly for the first 10-12 years, no real power. How much might this powerful mother terrify him? What does he do with his terror of this immensely powerful mother? And how does that then convert into his attitude towards the women in his life?

Misogyny seems much more of a societal problem than misandry (the hatred and contempt by women towards men), but misandry may be far more prevalent at this earlier time of the boy child’s life than we think, and may be just as much of a contribution towards society’s problem of misogyny.

In my view, then, our essential work as IoPT practitioners is to work with women, so that in the future mothers may be less traumatised, and so less likely to traumatise their children. I am convinced that the Trauma of Identity and Trauma of Love are a fundamental condition of humanity. We are so vulnerable for such a long time. No other creature has to tolerate such excruciating vulnerability for so long, as we humans do, and that is why we, as a species, are so traumatised.

[1] From the Guardian newspaper: Nearly one in 10 of all women who died at the hands of men in the UK over the past 15 years were mothers killed by their sons, a report reveals… with more than 170 mothers killed by their sons. (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025/mar/05/more-than-170-mothers-killed-by-sons-15-years-uk-report)

The art of being a good IoPT practitioner is knowing when you are not.

If just one of your ancestors had chosen to be with someone else, you would not exist.

The odds of being born are 1 in 400 trillion.

• The odds of two people meeting and having a relationship long enough to have children are about 1 in 40 million. 
• The odds of one sperm hitting one egg are about 1 in 400 quadrillion. 
• A fertile woman has about 100,000 viable eggs on average. 
• A man will produce about 12 trillion sperm over his reproductive lifetime. 

What does this mean?

The odds of being born are so low that some people consider it a miracle. 

Others say that these odds highlight the importance of living your life to the fullest. 

Interviews with Nathalie Walthers. Thank you Nathalie for drawing out the various topics and giving me the opportunity to talk about IoPT and related topics.

What is the purpose of Life?

To live a good life, and to come to know who one really is.

If you suffer rejection from your mother, you have to bury your wanting ability. It is too painful to exercise your want, because what you want is your mother's love, and what you got was rejection. (The Trauma of Love)

For more videos with Vivian click here.